Never Alone With Famiglia
by daisysakura
Summary: Three months after the incident, Lambo reflects on how much he hates worrying his family and wonders if he'll ever get better. He will. His family will make sure of it. The second part in the Famiglia Means Never Alone series. Please Read and Review!


Welcome to Lambo's Corner!

This is a tag to my other story, Famiglia Means Never Alone. I'd recommend reading that first to completely get this one but it's not really necessary.

I've been having some bad days myself so this was pretty easy to write out and wanted to share it while I finish up the next chapter to True Strength. This is short and simple so I hope it's ok.

 **WARNINGS:** While I did use Grammarly, I didn't go over it as much as I should have, probably filled with mistakes to the brim. I'll give it a proper check up later. Maybe. In the meantime, let me know if there's something I should correct. Also, the guys may be a bit OOC but they are older so...yeah.

Disclaimer: I do not own and I'm still poor.

* * *

It's hot. Even though Lambo is sitting underneath the shade of a tree, the air is hot, heavy, and dry; his skin sweaty and clammy.

Aside from the scorching heat, the day is peaceful without much to worry about. Except Lambo knows better because he can still feel it in his chest; the familiar ache he hates so much.

The teen raises his left hand and stares at the scar on his wrist; the thin pinkish line a permanent reminder of what he'd tried to do. A reminder of how weak he'd felt and how far he'd actually come to almost putting his family through a lifelong hell.

It has been three months since his attempted suicide; the attempt ignited such a protective side in his brothers, Lambo knew it was only a matter of time before they smothered him to death. Thankfully, one by one they had left for Italy knowing life needed to continue but not before making sure Lambo was fine.

Tsuna had asked him to go with them but Lambo knew he wasn't ready, not yet. The Lightning Guardian didn't want to join his brothers on account of anything but having earned it. Besides, he wanted to finish school, finish his training with Hibari and finish his normal-ish life before being completely engulfed in Mafia business. He'd made that clear to his brothers and they'd somewhat hesitantly agreed.

Of course, Tsuna agreeing didn't mean there would be no conditions; somebody would visit at least once every two weeks and stay for a few days, mandatory video calls every night, texts had to be replied to within thirty minutes or Hibari would be asked to check on him, and the most important one, letting someone know he was feeling down.

Lambo sighs as he remembers how serious his brother had been when giving those orders.

" _I don't care what time it is, you call any one of us when you start to feel upset or angry or anything. And if you start having a panic attack, remember the exercises Dr. Hannah gave you. Oh, and if-"_

That had been the longest goodbye in history, Lambo was sure of it. During that moment, Lambo had wanted it to end but now, now he missed his brother. Now that he was alone with his thoughts his lonely feelings were stirring within and he knew it was only a matter of time before he started to cry.

The doctor he'd been seeing told him his feelings wouldn't magically change and it would take time but Lambo still felt annoyed each time it happened. He knew he shouldn't pretend like everything was fine because that led to bottling up his feelings which led to, well, other problems but it was exasperating to talk about them.

Lambo rests his head on the tree he's sitting against; watches the lake shimmer under the bright rays of the sun and hopes he gets better soon. If there's one thing he hates the most is feeling like a burden to his family. Even though they've told him countless times it's not true, he feels differently.

When he woke up this morning, he knew it would be one of those bad days but hadn't said anything to the brothers currently staying with him. In fact, Lambo had left early for school with the excuse of needing to finish a project, which was actually true, and hoped to get better on his own; Yamamoto and Gokudera shouldn't needlessly worry.

Unfortunately, throughout the school day, he'd only felt worse. He felt like the other students were mad at him; felt like they were talking about him behind his back. There was no actual proof as to that happening but Lambo felt like he was being shunned. They would walk by and Lambo could swear they were ignoring him even though they would smile at him. They weren't acting any different than usual but to Lambo, it felt like they were strangers. He hated feeling this way but he couldn't help it no matter how hard he tried.

He'd remained distant from everyone; quiet. Why was life so unfair? Lambo hoped these negative feelings would go away because they made him feel like a failure; like a loser.

After classes had ended though, he had still felt numb and that was when he'd decided to take a small detour to the lake to clear his thoughts. He wasn't planning on telling his brothers but a promise was a promise and he wasn't going to break one this important. He knew his family still didn't trust him fully so he would do everything he could to gain that trust back.

 _ **I'll be at the lake for a while, need some time alone.**_

Lambo shot a quick text to Yamamoto and knew his brother would know what he meant; more than likely he'd come looking for him but until then, Lambo would try to get his emotions in check. _Try_ being the key word.

He held his left wrist with his right hand, brushing a thumb over his scar with disgust. A failure; he had failed at living, he had failed at dying and he had failed to get better.

 _Why am I so weak? Why do I keep troubling my family so much when I know they have more important things to do? Stop being so pathetic, Lambo; you're too old for this._

He's not sure how much time has passed but the tears have slowed down, his sobs have turned to soft mewls so he knows he's coming down (or off) from his episode. Why was his mind so intent on putting him through this suffering? He didn't want any of this, he didn't deserve it. At least, he didn't think he did.

Without realizing what he's doing, Lambo begins to scratch his scar, gently at first but that doesn't last very long.

"You're such an idiot. You're so stupid."

He mutters as he tries to take off the scar. It had to go away then maybe life could go back to how it was before; a life without feeling guilty all the time, a life without worried glances being sent his way by his family, a life where he could look at his left wrist without feeling like throwing up.

"Hey,"

He flinches when a hand pulls his away, effectively stopping his removal of the scar.

"Take-nii, I need to take it off," He says between tears, glaring at the now irritated skin. "I don't want it."

Lambo tries to reach his wrist again but Yamamoto doesn't release his hand. Instead, Yamamoto takes a seat next to Lambo and doesn't say anything for a while; simply runs his own thumb over the scar.

After a few minutes he softly speaks, "Every time I see it, I'm reminded of how I failed you, Lambo."

Lambo sniffs, "You didn't fail. I did."

"No," Yamamoto shakes his head with a deep frown. "I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I was too busy worrying about work that I pushed you to the back of my mind. I didn't even think to call to find out how you were doing or anything. What kind of brother does that? I'm sorry, Lambo. I'm so sorry."

The teen can't believe what he is seeing. Yamamoto is crying. Why? That day three months ago when Lambo had apologized to him, the Rain Guardian had seemed fine, relieved even but he hadn't cried.

"Nii-san, why are you crying? This wasn't your fault. I know you're busy, I know you all are with important things. This was my fault and mine alon-"

Lambo is pulled into a tight embrace, he can feel Yamamoto shaking and it scares him.

"Take-nii, please don't cry." Lambo whimpers as he begins to cry as well. He's about to say something when Yamamoto quickly pushes him away just as something flies over the spot where the Rain Guardian's head had just been.

"Psycho-nii?"

Hibari swings his tonfas again but Yamamoto blocks them with his baseball bat which Lambo hadn't even seen on him. They back away as they continue to fight, Yamamoto's face filled with regret, pain, and anger.

"Tsk, I should have known this would happen."

Lambo looks back to his other brother who is approaching with a lit cigarette hanging from his lips. Gokudera drops down and sits next to Lambo to watch the others fight. He puts out his cigarette then casually drops an arm around Lambo's shoulders.

"Don't worry about the idiot. He'll be fine now that he's come to terms with reality."

"…I don't get it."

"And you don't have to. Just know he'll be fine."

Lambo wants to ask what his brother means but knows he won't get more than that. Gokudera sits back a little then lifts an eyebrow before picking up Lambo's left hand to inspect the reddish scar. "Were you scratching it?"

Lambo pulls his hand away immediately, shame covering his face. "I don't want to look at it anymore…"

"Scars are permanent, stupid cow."

Lambo winces. He knew that already but in his desperation to get rid of it, he hadn't thought rationally. He knows he'll always have this reminder but that doesn't mean he has to like it.

"But they do fade with time."

The teen looks to his brother once more, "They do?"

Gokudera nods confidently before adding, "Might take years but it will eventually."

"That's good, I guess."

"But that doesn't mean you'll forget it's there. There will be days when you'll look at it and remember. The thing is to also remember that you got through it."

Lambo wonders if Gokudera has his own scars and that's how he knows but decides not to ask. He looks at his wrist; the area a little swollen and red. Maybe it will fade away in time but right now it's really ugly and painfully obvious.

"Give it time. Give _yourself_ time."

"I really am sorry, Haya-nii. I wish I could take it back."

"I know. We all have our regrets," He says glaring at Yamamoto who is now laughing as Hibari continues his attack. "But we need to accept what life's thrown our way and move on. Otherwise, we'll break down when we least expect it."

"Will you guys ever trust me to be alone again?" Lambo randomly asks. Gokudera looks down with a confused frown.

"We do trust you."

"But I'm hardly alone anymore. There's always somebody nearby."

"That's how it should have always been. That doesn't mean we don't trust you, it means we, well, we…ugh, you know."

Lambo shakes his head not quite understanding. Yamamoto flops down in front of them with a laugh, his face sporting a black eye.

"It means we love you. We're not going to make you feel abandoned ever again."

"Looks like you lost, baseball freak," Gokudera smirks obviously trying to steer the conversation away from feelings.

"It was a tie."

"But Psycho-nii doesn't have any bruises." Lambo laughs.

"Not visible ones." Yamamoto winks then ruffles Lambo's hair. "I'm sorry if I scared you earlier. I don't want you to think you can't come to me in the future."

"It's ok."

"It's not ok, he acted like an idiot instead of the big brother he is."

"Hey, sometimes they go hand in hand." Yamamoto counters with a grin. "Besides, I learned my lesson. Thanks, Hibari."

Hibari ignores Yamamoto, instead, narrowing his eyes at the injured wrist with suspicion. Lambo notices his stare and shrugs.

"I'm ok now."

"You know where to find me for training."

Translation: _I'm here for you._

Lambo nods his thanks to Hibari's back since his brother is already walking away. The teen turns to his two remaining brothers and says,

"I'm sorry I worried you again. I'm just so tired. I want this to stop."

"I know you are. We want you to stop hurting as well but we can't force this, right? We have to take it day by day, step by step."

"What the freak said."

"I wish I was stronger."

"You're one of the strongest people I know and that's saying something because I know a lot of them."

Lambo scoffs, "I don't think that's much of a compliment."

Yamamoto smiles and rests his head on Lambo's, his little brother safely tucked against him. "It wasn't? Hm, I guess I've been spending too much time with Hayato."

"Don't blame me, you piece of shi-"

Gokudera stops mid-swear when his phone rings. He doesn't bother looking at the caller ID and answers right away. "Juudaime, is something wrong?"

Lambo groans, knowing Gokudera is going to tell Tsuna about today's incident makes the shame rise again. He hates worrying his family.

"Oh, ok. No, everything is fine here."

The teen looks up in surprise but Gokudera ignores him.

"We came to the park for a while but we'll be heading home soon."

"Ask him if they're feeding Bambino."

"Who cares about your stupid fish?" Gokudera snarls away from his cell phone. "Don't worry, Juudaime, they're both fine."

Yamamoto chuckles seeming to understand he's being included in the list of people to worry about. Gokudera hangs up but instead of standing up, he lays down with his brothers.

They talk about nothing for who knows how long. It's only until Lambo notices the sun begin to set that he reminds them he hasn't had dinner yet. He takes a deep breath as he stretches his arms over his head, wincing when he feels a slight twinge in his back; he really shouldn't have been sitting awkwardly for so long.

"Are you feeling better?"

Lambo turns to his brother with a smile, "Yeah, thank you, Take-nii."

Yamamoto ruffles Lambo's hair again and stands up before offering his little brother his hand. "You're welcome; ready to go home?"

Lambo accepts the help with a nod. He's still embarrassed about having to rely on his brothers for support but he's glad they'll be there whenever he needs them.

"Thank you for trusting me, Lambo," Yamamoto says while putting an arm around Lambo's shoulders as Gokudera walks to his other side. It's the same with the other members of their family; they thank him for coming to them instead of bottling up his feelings and he gives them the same reply each time.

"Thank you for not giving up on me."

"Never," Gokudera and Yamamoto both say at the same time. Lambo knows he has a long way to go before he's completely fine but with a family like his, he knows he'll get there eventually.

* * *

Depression sucks.

Like I said, short and simple but let me know if it was ok, yeah? Thanks in advance!

I'll see you next time on Lambo's Corner. You do not want to miss it!


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